Ah, it has been about three years since i first opened this website for my personal blog.
But i have nerver used English to write any of the blogs i uploaded before. Today, i am gong to write the first English blog for my boring blog website.
Actually, i have been avoiding use English in my past three years, because i think that will make me look further away from my used friends' circle, which is the people i know since i was in middle school. Now, i don't know if it's proper to use the "confident" to describe my change, i just feel lest shame on using English, in another way, suit the English environment a little more. To be honest, this make me sound just like the person my parents wanted me to be, but the thing that really let me made this change is i am dating with a Canadian girl now. Which means i have to speak English more than i used to speak to communicate with her.

Cynthia, she is a sensitive girl, kind, introverted, funny. I don't know if these descriptions have any special meanings, but these are what i know about her. The only thing i want to mention is that she is my girl, at least she is now.
I think i am just like most of thoes international students from China, thinking all the white girls look so pretty, eager to have a girlfriend, but never become brave enough to really start a conversation with those girls. Yeah, that was also how i was at the beginning of the story.

That was on the second physics lab of my first term in UNB.
the instructor asked us to have a group with 3-4 people, I was also an introverted person, so i was alone on that lab. But the work couldn't be done in that way, so one of the instructors asked me to join a 2 people grooup, Cynthia and Carmen were in that group. By the way, i didn't really know Carmen, i don't even know if i have spelt her name right, all i knew about her is that she is a balck female. Back to the story itself, i was keeping my head down, and look at Cynthia some times, she was pretty. but the thing was not right, she was waring a hijab, i thought she was muslim, so i didn't watch her too much although she looks pretty.
Then i finished the second lab in silence, the next time i saw her again was in the third week's lab, we actually have 2-3 same classes, but i almost skipped all my classes at that time, so the only chance i could see her is on the physics lab. Anyway, the second time i saw her, she wasn't waring that hijab, then i suddenly found that she is not really a muslim, then i was more brave to watch her more. She is not tall, but very thin, brown short hair, it was actually my first time that observe her so clearly. I was excited, but still too timid to talk to her.
Then the labs kept going on, week by week. I almost forgot which lab, but she first time turned her head back to me and talked to me, i remember that first conversation was about a question on that lab, i told her the answer, i didn't really think she got what i meant from her eyes. But my focus was not on that stupid question, my focus was actually on her. I know it's weird, but that was what i did.
Since that, she talked to me more frequently, but all the conversations were about the lab questions, and i have never started any converstaion with her. I know it sounds so sad, but that was the real situation that happened. Anyway, the time was so fast, it came to the last physics lab of that term. I clearly knew that it was the last time i could see her, the propotionality of seeing her in next term is unknown. So i used two days to make some mental preparetion, and finnaly talked to her on the last lab.
I don't really remember what i said, but i remember that i asked about her instagram, but she said "Sorry, I don't have instagram". Jesus, i was so broken, because i can't really imagine that there are people who really don't have instagram, i thought she was just said "No", but i realised i was wrong in 20 seconds later. She took out her phone from her bag. That was really a telephone, i mean the lind that you need to slip the screen before you use it. She smiled at me, so i know maybe she didn't mean to say no. In that case, i asked her phone number. I didn't even know what's her name at that time, but this was totally my fault, firstly it's because that i am not good at memorizing, so i don't even know if she has told me her name before; secondly it's because that i almost never ask a person's name, i know it's hard for me to remember their name, Hahaha.

Now, i got her phone number, and she even sent me the first text message, but the real problem is that i am not good at English. I believe that this is also why thoes international students are the same mimid like me used to. But the good thing is that i got a smart phone, with auto correction and translator for English, and the better thing is that she accepted those so many mistakes i made in English, HUMAN+TECH, i guess these are the things that supported me to continue talking to her.
As the time goes on, we talked more and more, i think i have sent thousands of text messages since we got eachother's phone numbers. I was so excited, then i started to imagine. Imagine if we will fall into a relationship, imagine if we will get married in the future. But that were all the inmagination, i was kept telling myself that:" You are a fat and ugly asian guy, how you can marry her?", so i just kept making more conversations with her. With this kind of not confident thoughts, i missed the first chance.

When she send me a text message that says " I am interested on you", i was thinking that she was attracted by my humor, because i controlled my mind to not imagine that she really meant that she is interested in my. So i didn't give her a clear answer to that, she was sad, i knew she was sad. I just couldn't believe that it really comes to me.
In the end, we finnaly are dating now, which means we really felt into a relationship now. i wouldn't mention more details, but everything just happened so dramatic. I am very glad i am having a fantasitic relationship with Cynthia, i am glad i am her person now, i am also glad she is my person now.

This is all the things i want to say in my 70th blog on my personal blog website, maybe we will get married in the future, maybe not. But 釗子 just said that he will come to my wedding ceromony if i really marry her. Hehe let's see how the things will go.
HAHAHAHA FUCK my SHYNESS

This is almost my first time that write such a long blog with English by myself, so i think there will be lots of typo and mistakes, i don't know and i don't really care about this. By the way, another important reason why i write this blog in English is that last time when i was tring tod escribe my dream life to her, i wanted to use the blog i wrote before, but the huge question is that the blog was written originally in Chinese, so even the translator can't really explain what i meant, so i decided to wrote a pure English blog for her. She can always know what I really mean >:)
Ps. The cover of this blog is the picture of Simon, he is Cynthia's baby cat. Took by Cynthia
翻译：鄙人英语方面才疏学浅，多有疏漏，还请见谅。还有我完全没有一丝丝装逼的嫌疑，本人今天是怀着无比真挚的情感写下这篇博客的。